Especially Thankful

I have been contemplating Mother's Day for a few days now. I am so grateful to finally be a mother and to have been given the most precious gift imaginable. For several years I dreaded this special day because it was always a hard reminder that I didn't have a child. Don't get me wrong, I loved celebrating my mother and mother-in-law, but there was always a very deep sadness within me. I skipped church many times just to avoid the Mother's Day hoopla and tried to put it out of my mind. I have friends who are still in that same boat. I know they are dreading this day and my heart hurts for them. It is supposed to be a joyous day, but when you want more than anything to have a child, it's anything but joyous. I don't ever want to forget that feeling because it reminds me to never take my child for granted and because it is important to remember those who are in that place. I am beyond thankful for CB's life, her health, her pretty hair, her smile, her fat rolls, her blue eyes, her laugh and for the constant happiness that I feel everyday when I hold her. She will never understand the depth of my love and that's ok. I'll just kiss her face, squeeze her little body and thank the Lord for the millionth time for her - and I will be especially thankful on this first Mother's Day.